Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the key component of any successful business

How can self-awareness transform situations and open an umbrella of possibilities and success?

“Self-awareness, in short, means being “aware of both our mood and our thoughts about that mood,” John Mayer, co-formulator with Peter Salovey of the theory of emotional intelligence.”

Last week, we began to talk about the Emotional Competencies or the skills that can be learnt and improved to help us achieve better performance, reliable results with less strain and, in the end, more satisfaction and happiness.

Briefly, the four main areas of EI are:

📍 Self-Awareness: recognising our emotions is the first step. If we acknowledge them, we can choose how to control them.

📍 Self Management: this is the aspect that allows us to master our emotions, to be in control of them and give them better use when necessary

📍 Social Awareness: recognising emotions in others can help us relate to them better. Happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, anger and surprise are the six universal emotions that we can identify in any human being.

📍 Relationship Management: this area is the one that allows us to have an impact on our company, neighbourhood or community, our daily work with others and any social sphere. It relates to the emotions and behaviours of others and how we can be of benefit to them.

So today, we will explore Self-awareness and its competences (or skills): Emotional Self-Awareness, Accurate Self-Assessment and Self-Confidence.

What will we be covering here?

Why is self-awareness so important?

How do we detect our feelings?

The importance of the neocortex

How do we interpret our feelings?

Practical exercises and examples to improve Self-Awareness

Self Awareness and leadership

Two crucial final points to remember

Why is Self-Awareness so important?

The importance of recognising our own emotions and feelings when they are happening is crucial. This can make a difference and transform any situation.

Our feelings exist – they affect us and our performance. So, being able to detect and understand what they are and what they mean, opens a new road that leads straight to

👉 an accurate sense of self-confidence
👉 a path of authenticity
👉 real productivity

Being realistic and accepting that our feelings will affect our performance directly, is the magical key that will open the door of improvement and change (when it is needed), clarity and a sense of purpose as well as, a reaffirmation of your true self.

Knowing yourself, your limits and your potential, as well as the impact that your emotions have on everything you do, sets you up for the future.

But how do we detect our feelings?

As a psychologist who studied psychoanalysis in depth, I enjoy the Freudian method of paying attention, impartially, to anything that occurs – like a witness, or someone not engaged in the scene.

Yes, it is difficult, but not impossible and like everything, the skill requires practice for it to be mastered.

Monitoring our feelings can help us understand specific reactions, they usually come in patterns. We tend to repeatedly react to certain triggers in the same manner.

So, the effective way to cut the cycle begins with paying attention to the emotion when it arises.

“I prefer the term self-awareness, in the sense of ongoing attention to one’s internal states. In this self-reflexive awareness, mind observes and investigates experience itself, including the emotions.” Daniel Goleman. Emotional Intelligence.

We can learn how to be aware of moods and thoughts too. The neocortex (the area of the brain responsible for functions such as perception cognition and language among others) activates and labels the emotions, so they can be better understood and identified.

The neocortex is the evolutionarily newest portion of the cerebral cortex, and it is where most of the higher brain functions reside.

And how do we interpret them?

One tendency we all have is to immediately “judge” the feeling, giving it a positive or negative value and thinking in terms of should or shouldn’t.

For example, if the feeling is considered a negative one (against our principles, not convenient, etc.), our thought might be “I shouldn’t feel this way”.

This is the kind of thought that we need to unlearn, instead of remaining impartial which leads to acceptance and acceptance to self-management.

Tips to improve your Self-Awareness and to increase your EQ

Here are some practical exercises to strengthen Self-awareness:

1) Practising mindfulness: giving yourself some time to explore your present state is the first step. You can ask yourself some questions, such as

❓ What am I feeling right now? For example: “I feel tired. I feel anxious. I feel full of hope.”

❓ Can I identify the source of that feeling? For example: “I didn’t sleep well last night. I have a deadline. I got promoted”.

❓ Does that feeling resonate in a specific part of my body? For example: “My back hurts a little bit. My shoulders are tense. I feel warmth in my chest.”

❓ Does it have a certain weight or texture, a colour perhaps, or any attribute at all? For example: “Heavy. Red. Light”.

2) Give your emotions a name: At the moment you’re feeling an intense emotion, try to give it a name that is as accurate as possible: fear, anger, happiness, etc. If you can, write it down and if not, repeat it in your head. Give yourself some time to explore the feeling and, if possible, “be with it”.

3) Keep a journal: This can be helpful, especially if you make notes about the situation that led to that particular emotion and your reaction to it. Research has demonstrated the efficacy of writing and its connection with health.

“Writing seems to help the brain regulate emotion unintentionally. Whether it’s writing things down in a diary, writing bad poetry, or making up song lyrics that should never be played on the radio, it seems to help people emotionally,” Dr Matthew Lieberman, psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles,

If we look at this now from a leadership perspective (and when I say leadership, I mean any person that has a team, within or outside of the corporate framework), self-assessment turns out to be crucial in clearly identifying both strengths and vulnerabilities, as well as developing Self-Confidence -the sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.

Naturally, a proper test to measure the EQ would be the right thing to do. But there are other methods that can help too such as feedback which certainly gives a leader useful knowledge.

That feedback, when it comes not only from the managers but also from the teams and employees, results in understanding the others’ perspectives. Remaining open and receptive can make the difference and open numerous opportunities for change and growth.

Two critical final points to remember

a) Developing and improving our self-awareness is the foundation of the building; all the other floors will be built and established on this foundation. This is why it is so important.

b) The information we get from this exploration need not be viewed as any kind of judgement. Don’t dwell too much on your strengths nor your vulnerabilities.

Of course, the best way to dig deep in self-awareness is to know the tools (the exercises) that can help and have a coach with whom to discuss and clarify them.

Another way to start knowing yourself better is to do assessments. You can find plenty on the internet (some of them are free), and even though I highly recommend you to book a consultation with a professional -to evaluate results and set a course of action- some of those assessments can give you some basic information and clarify certain areas.

By now, you might be wondering, how can I improve my EIQ?
Well, improving your self-awareness will certainly help. 

 

Emotional Skills at work

How do these competencies affect successful leadership, teamwork and productivity?

 

“Emotional intelligence skills are synergistic with cognitive ones; top performers have both” – Daniel Goldman, Working with Emotional Intelligence.

 

Last week, we began to talk about Emotional Intelligence (EI) and its importance in terms of performance, productivity and development.

Today, we will explore a little bit about Emotional Skills- which can be learnt and improved (this is good news, right?)

What will we be covering here?

How Emotional Skills can be a game changer for your business

Corporate areas that directly benefit from improving EI

The Four main areas of EI

Identifying Competencies (or skills) and how they affect our work

 

But first, let’s take a look at how Emotional Intelligence and more specifically, Emotional Competencies can be a game changer for your business:

👉 Improving communications leads to better team management, better understanding of your audience and better content creation

👉 Learning how to respond as opposed to react leads to improved business relations, project building with valuable team members – who we might previously have thought we couldn’t work with – and creates an atmosphere of collaboration and growth

👉 Empathy helps us to understand the needs of our clients and customers, so we can develop products/offer services that genuinely meet the needs of our targeted audience

👉 Managing stress contributes to a better ambience, satisfaction and productivity

👉 Knowing how and when to adapt ourselves gives rise to better Leadership.

“Decades of leadership research suggest that these skills are crucial for leader effectiveness. ” – Ronald E.Riggio and Joanne Lee

They all contribute to better performance, productivity and development.

Applying this to the corporate environment, in particular, the following areas can directly benefit from improving EI:

💪 Team Management and Development: EI can help you to keep the stress at bay in any team, encourage good communication and maintain the skills to solve any conflict that might arise

💪 Staff selection and development: EI is key in identifying the right candidate and helping to develop the mission and vision of the company throughout the hiring and training process

But let’s not forget, on a more personal note, that Emotional Intelligence is a pillar for personal development, helping you to healthily respond to the environment, to have better interpersonal relationships and to develop traits that can be of value to any future endeavour.

In the last post, we also talked about the four main areas of EI:

📍 Self-Awareness: recognising our emotions is the first step. If we acknowledge them, we can choose how to control them.

📍 Self Management: this is the aspect that allows us to master our emotions, to be in control of them and give them better use when necessary

📍 Social Awareness: recognising emotions in others can help us relate to them better. Happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, anger and surprise are the 6 universal emotions that we can identify in any human being.

📍 Relationship Management: this area is the one that allows us to have an impact on our company, neighbourhood or community, our daily work with others and any social sphere. It relates to the emotions and behaviours of others and how we can be of benefit to them.

So today, we will explore further in order to identify some of the competencies -the skills- that are required in each area.

One important thing to understand is that a person might need to develop different competencies depending on the context.

If we are talking about work, for example, a content writer might need a high level of empathy, much like a nurse; but the nurse might also need a good sense of humour (whereas the copywriter’s performance would not be compromised even if lacking a good sense of humour).

So, here we go with some of the most relevant emotional competencies

Self-awareness

Emotional Self-Awareness
The importance of recognising our own emotions is crucial and can really make the difference, transforming any situation from a potential disaster to one with a good outcome. Our feelings exist, they can’t be denied (even if we try to), so they are undoubtedly going to affect our performance. To be aware of them, knowing our own strengths as well as our limits, leads to an accurate sense of self-confidence and, at the same time, to a path of authenticity.

Self-Management

Emotional Self-Control
After identifying your emotion, the next step is to take control of it. If you can manage your emotions, you can stay calm and focused amid the most stressful situation and be of help to your co-workers and team in addition to yourself. Keeping disruptive emotions at bay is fundamental for leaders.

Adaptability
The ability to be flexible and change the course of action according to the circumstances without losing sight of the end goal can be daunting. Learning how to develop adaptability enables you to be flexible without stress. Life is unpredictable at the best of times, so uncertainty is expected and to be comfortable with it, is a great accomplishment.

Achievement Drive. Initiative and Innovation.
This competence is key and entails striving towards goals whilst maintaining a standard of excellence, accepting the challenges you might encounter en route but, at the same time, improving performance and being ready to welcome opportunities. Being open to innovation is crucial in an era where everything around us changes at lightning speed.

Positive Outlook
The way you see the world changes it. You can build your whole universe and turn each and every situation into an opportunity. The future can always hold improvement and positive outcomes.

Social Awareness

Empathy
Learning to understand others’ feelings, needs and perspectives is at the base of any business. Understanding audiences, clients, customers and teams leads to success. This entails taking a real interest, actively listening, being open and explaining ideas in a simple way whilst leveraging diversity and cultivating opportunities with people from diverse cultures and backgrounds.

Organizational Awareness and Service Orientation
It is an undisputable fact that understanding all the levels within an organization (power, norms and conflicts) as well as the dynamics inside a team gives opportunities for improvement. To be able to recognise and even anticipate those dynamics is crucial and can be the key factor to meeting your audiences’ needs.

Relationship Management. Influence and Communication
This part includes engagement, clear communication and persuasion, in terms of being able to motivate others towards achieving a common goal, in a constructive and respectful way.

Conflict Management (Negotiation)
The ability to recognise different perspectives and help the parties involved to find common ground, not censoring or ostracizing opinions but instead, encouraging them to find a positive resolution.

Leadership
Inspiring and guiding the leader (manager, coach, mentor, business owner) to take real interest in assisting others, giving feedback and focusing on opportunities.

Nurturing collaboration, cooperation, building bonds
The ability to nurture and foster instrumental relationships, work towards a common goal, be able to listen, communicate and act accordingly.

Teamwork
These leaders build an atmosphere of cooperation, helpfulness, and respect. They help others commit to the group’s effort. They help a team develop an identity, positive relationships, and spirit.

 

By now, you might be wondering, how can I improve my emotional competencies and my own EIQ?

Well, developing soft skills will certainly help to improve social and emotional intelligence quotients.