Leading with empathy makes the whole difference. In this article, we already discussed the meaning of empathy, the difference between cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathies and the role they each play in workplace dynamics, forming an essential part of any successful business.

 

Now, having acknowledged that empathy plays such a fundamental role that it might even define the course of the enterprise itself, it’s time to dig deeper, learn how to apply it and also, how to improve it.

A lot has been said already about its implementation, but the truth is that there is still a long way to go.

Most corporations still struggle to understand the real value of empathy which, ultimately, should be at the core of any company culture.

Why?

Well, leading with empathy is not easy. Firstly, because it relates to ethics and secondly, because it works in favour of the company, bringing loyalty, productivity, and benefits.

Instead of beginning a real implementation project (like regular meetings and seminars to learn and discuss the topic and decide the best course of action, or getting a consultant in to facilitate the changes), employers are finding more and more employees resigning on a daily basis as a consequence of “false empathy”, or the pretence of an empathetic approach.

Not to mention the high cost of losing clients, which is another flagrant example of the lack of empathy in any business.

So, how does a company take the big step and begin a serious and long-lasting transformation? 

 

The first step towards leading with empathy should be to acknowledge the lack of an empathetic culture and the second is to also acknowledge the need to create one at the heart of the company.

Once these two primordial steps are completed, the company can move forward and begin the process.

 

Here are some ideas that can be implemented across a corporation by each and everyone in it. These strategies/new behaviours will change the face – and the heart – of your company:

 

• Pay close attention to your clients’ needs and requirements

• Improve timing and quality in the delivery of goods or services, according to your clients’ needs

• Make meaningful and long-lasting connections with key members in the organisation

• Be able to solve difficulties or help others with hindrances, in time

• Create bonds and connections that will form the basis for future loyalty

• Create (physical) space and time for those connections to flourish

• Open the doors to innovation based on trust and respect

 

But there is more: what else you can do to lead with empathy, right now?

Well, you can:

• Show gratitude: say thank you more often, appreciate the time and effort that others invest in you, your product and your service. Give credit for the things well done. Being grateful not only creates bonds but also shows respect and dignity

• Prove you listen and care: practice active listening which can restore confidence and help build loyalty. A high percentage of employees, as well as customers, feel their opinion doesn’t matter. Make yourself available: create surveys, ask direct questions, handle 1-to-1 meetings, be sure that your customer service is providing the necessary assistance

• Share stories with a positive outlook, whenever you can but especially before beginning a meeting. Sharing creates a bond and helps to set an ambiance of collaboration, willingness, openness and receptiveness

• Listen to your co-workers and team members. Make some extra time to give others the opportunity to share. Make room, physically and emotionally, for the others’ experiences. Let people talk and listen to their stories.

 

And…there is even more you can do!

• Give constructive feedback. If you find yourself having to give negative feedback, walk the extra mile in the shoes of your employee and try to create a constructive atmosphere. With the right words, you will reinforce your employee’s confidence instead of making them feel demotivated. This will open the doors to change and improvement

• Pay real attention to your customers. If you understand their needs and learn to decode them, you will be able to point the company in the right direction, also giving it the chance to be open to creativity and innovation.

 

Interested in developing these skills, improving your career and contribute to an empathetic culture in your company?

Book your Free Discovery Session here

 

Book your Free Discovery Session

 

 

(A similar post was previously published on Chery McMillan website).

 

Where does your drive come from?

 

Maslow wrote one of the most famous theories about motivation: the Hierarchy of Needs. However, this is just one of the multiple existent theories about motivation

The origin of motivation can be uncertain because it is the by-product of multiple combinations of variables. But we all know that motivation is fundamental. It is a key factor for continual improvement and growth.

Motivation at work is paramount and can determine our professional future, and in many ways, our daily life as well.

Motivation is a fire we all need to keep feeding!

How motivation leads to success is a question I get asked frequently, but to better understand the possible answers, we need to explore the different theories behind them a little.

 

What will we be covering here

Theories on motivation

Maslow

Maslow’s pyramid

Critics and updates

Relevance and examples

Theories

Some of the most famous theories about motivation are:

📌 Hierarchy of needs, by Maslow.

📌 ERG theory: Existence needs, relatedness needs and growth needs, by Alderfer.

📌 Two-factor theory, by Herzberg.

📌 Reinforcement theory, by Skinner.

📌 Need for achievement, affiliation and power, by McClelland.

There is also:

📌 Adams’ equity theory

📌 Locke’s goal-setting theory

as well as so many more.

 

 

In this post, we will cover one of the most famous theory’s: Maslow’s.

 

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

American psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed, in his 1943 paper called “A Theory of Human Motivation“, a first draft of what would be a complete theory regarding human needs.

That theory would be fully explained later in his 1954 book, Motivation and Personality.

At the time, it revolutionised the behavioural sciences worldwide.

Based on stages, Maslow envisioned a theory that takes into consideration the universal needs of human beings and also, that those needs would be at the base of human motivation.

Each level represents a need that must be satisfied first in order to move forward.

That’s the drive for motivation: ultimately, the satisfaction of the needs. And the ultimate goal would be to attain the last level.

The theory is typically depicted as a pyramid where, at the bottom, we find the fundamental, physiological needs (those that relate to survival) and then self-actualisation at the top, the needs that deal with personal growth and development.

 

Let’s take a look at the hierarchy in detail:

1. Physiological needs. Here we find the need for food, sleep and any activity that prevents distress at a physical level.

2. Safety needs. Here, Maslow talks about the need for safety in terms of protection and being free from danger.

3. Social needs. At this level we find the need for love, affection, friendship, and also, a sense of acceptance, community and belonging.

4. Self-image needs. Also known as self-esteem, includes self-respect, the feeling of achievement and being respected.

5. Self-actualisation needs. The last stop, the ultimate attainable goal. This includes the need to grow and develop as well as the need for personal fulfilment.

How is the theory viewed in today’s world?

Maslow’s theory has been deeply criticised mainly because he made it perfectly clear that each level of the “ladder” had to be climbed before passing to the next one.

In 1976, Wahba and Bridwell presented a paper about the need for additional research that backs up the theory.

In 2010, Renovating the Pyramid of Needs: Contemporary Extensions Built Upon Ancient Foundations, a paper by Douglas T. Kenrick, Vladas Griskevicius, Steven L. Neuberg, and Mark Schaller, published in Perspect Psychol Sci, proposed a new theory (with more levels) and not without controversy.

Today’s view of this is slightly different, as levels are regarded as continuously overlapping each other and not as a strict hierarchy.

 

“Motivation theory is not synonymous with behavior theory. The motivations are only one class of determinants of behavior. While behavior is almost always motivated, it is also almost always biologically, culturally and situationally determined as well.” 
― Abraham H. Maslow, A Theory of Human Motivation

 

Why is his theory of any relevance to us?

Because you can use it as a route map, to develop a style of entrepreneurship, management or leadership focused on the needs of your clients, teams, employees and stakeholders.

For example, if you’re an executive or a manager, you can use it in the workplace for:

🔸 Improving safety in the workplace
🔸 Promoting cooperation and teamwork
🔸 Giving credit and value
🔸 Providing space for career guidance and mentoring

If you are an entrepreneur, you might get ideas for producing products or services that have to do with some of the needs. For example:

🔸 Offering support and insurance, as in a refund or a 100% satisfaction guarantee policy
🔸 Creating bonds and the sense of belonging, as in social media communities

Also, if you want to appeal to the need for esteem, you can touch on any area related to lifestyle, vehicles, clubs, entrepreneurship, entertainment, beverages, etc.

And any charity, social responsibility or investment will be linked to the highest level of fulfilment: Self-Actualization.

“Self-actualized people…live more in the real world of nature than in the man-made mass of concepts, abstractions, expectations, beliefs and stereotypes that most people confuse with the world.” 
― Abraham Maslow, Hierarchy of Needs: A Theory of Human Motivation

 

More examples

Public speaker and author Denise Brosseau, in her course “Becoming a Thought Leader”, mentions that Chip Conley updated Maslow’s hierarchy when he was writing his book about “building one hotel into the second-largest boutique hotel chain in the world”, so that the resultant framework was detailed enough to clearly show the principles behind his actions”

And in fact, in his book, Peak, Conley shows how to apply the “fulfilment principle” to a company, so the businesses can achieve their fullest potential.

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Before closing, I’d like to suggest a very short exercise which has already been shared with my LinkedIn friends. It is about self-motivation, and I’d like to know the results if you give it a try.

It goes like this:

📌 write down (in capital letters) one goal you want to accomplish. Just one goal!

📌 below that, write down the reasons for wanting that. Think about Maslow’s pyramid and write down which of the mentioned needs this goal will fulfil

📌 now, write one thing that you can do TODAY to be closer to that goal. An achievable, realistic, very simple thing, you can do TODAY to be closer to that feeling of achievement

📌 commit to it

📌 at the end of the day, go back to your writing and reflect: did you do it? How does it feel?

Drop me a line and let me know.

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Empathy: a definition

The term empathy was introduced to the English language by American psychologist E.B. Titchener. He coined “empathy” as a translation of the German word “Einfühlung”, but at the time, he was referring more to other phenomena, such as motor mimicry (an imitation of other people’s behaviour).

But what we understand today, is different.

Simply put, empathy can be defined as the ability to comprehend others’ thoughts, feelings and behaviours. It is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand what is going on, without needing to have had the same experience.

Empathy takes more time and effort than sympathy and it is built on self-awareness.

Why? Because mastering your own emotions leads to being open enough (and willing to) understand others’ emotions as well.

“(…) when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.”
― Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

What will we be covering here

The importance of empathy

Which results?

Three types of empathy

Words matter

Empathy in the workplace

How to practice empathy

How to improve it

Ever since my first blog post about Emotional Intelligence, I’ve always said that empathy, like any other skill, can be learnt and improved. Just like a muscle. You can take it to the gym to prevent decay or work on it daily to make it strong and significant.

The importance of empathy in our daily life is pretty understandable; but why are its results of such vital importance when it comes to business?

Because if we can tune ourselves to our customers, co-workers, peers and superiors, we might be able to get better and faster results.

Just to name a few of them:

👉 Improving timing and quality in the delivery of goods or services, according to our clients’ needs

👉 Making important and long-lasting connections with key members in the organisation

👉 Being able to solve difficulties or help others with hindrances in time

👉 Creating bonds and connections forming the basis of loyalty

👉 Opening the doors to innovation based on mutual trust and respect

Empathy has its roots in self-awareness, nurtures itself in self-management and paves the way to relationship management.

TOP TIP As with any other skill, empathy needs to be interlinked with other competencies and work in tandem with them to really perform at its maximum potential.

The three types of empathy according to the Goleman model

Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman broke down the concept of empathy into the following three categories: Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate.

Let’s take a quick look at them:

Cognitive empathy

This refers to the ability to comprehend what a person might feel or think. It is like a channel of “information”.
It answers the question: “What is the other person going through?” For example, “Tom would like to speak with his supervisor about a possible promotion, but he seems to have difficulties in finding the right way to open up a conversation ” or “My clients have been asking for a direct channel of communication with my business; the Q&A page on my website does not seem to be enough for them”.

Emotional empathy

This refers to the ability to understand the feelings of another person through an emotional connection. It answers the question: “How does the other person feel?” For example: “Tom feels his supervisor is not going to pay attention to his request, he feels intimidated and insecure and this is why he is delaying the conversation” or “My clients feel frustrated as they would like to have a direct channel of communication, with a real person and not a bot”.

Compassionate empathy

This is the third type, and goes far beyond the first two, as it involves action: if we understand and share the feelings of the other person, we can actually help. It answers the question: “What can I do to help?” For example, “I might help Tom to find ways to open up and be confident” or “I will implement a direct channel of communication on my website and a customer service line on Social Media”.

TOP TIP: words matter. Showing empathy through words helps. After encountering a new situation and needing more information: “Would you mind telling me more about this? The more I know, the quicker we can get it sorted” After discovering a new event or situation: “I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you feel” After receiving an email with a request or comment: “Would it be more convenient for you to discuss this over the phone or in person? If you feel ready to take action: “Is there anything I can do for you? ”

Empathy in the workplace

In their 4th annual empathy study, Businessolvers’ report shows that:

📌 72% of CEOs say the state of empathy needs to evolve

📌 58% of them struggle with showing it in a consistent way

It is clear that there is still a lot to be done. Even though corporations are aware of the importance of incorporating empathy into the culture of the organization, there is still a gap between the intention and the action.

Making empathy part of the company’s culture calls for a conscious effort.

Why is it so important to build emotional empathy and implement it?

Research has already proven that empathy, among other things:

👉 boosts productivity
👉 accelerates innovation
👉 increases loyalty and customer satisfaction
👉 creates long term bonds and cooperation

So, given that there is still so much to do in this field, let’s take a look at simple but effective solutions that we can implement right away:

• Show gratitude: say thank you more often, appreciate the time and effort that others invest in you, your product and your service. Give credit for the things well done. Being grateful not only creates bonds but also shows respect and helps with dignity.

• Show you listen: practicing active listening restores confidence and helps build loyalty. A high percentage of employees, as well as customers, feel their opinion doesn’t matter. Make yourself available: create surveys, ask direct questions, handle 1-to-1 meetings, be sure that your customer service is giving the needed assistance.

• Share stories with a positive outlook, whenever you can but especially before beginning a meeting. Sharing creates a bond and helps to set an ambiance of collaboration and willingness, openness and receptiveness.

• Listen to your co-workers and team members. Make some extra time to give others the opportunity to share. Make room, physically and emotionally, for the others’ experiences. Let people talk and listen to their stories.

3 top tips to improve your empathy 👉 Know yourself and your emotions 👉Practice active listening 👉 Open up space for reflection

👉 Know yourself: self-awareness and self-management are the first steps that will help you improve empathy. Both will help you with: knowing yourself, your emotions and reactions, and also, being ready to manage your own feelings, creating, with confidence, a space to listen carefully to others.

👉Practice active listening and connect with the other person. Be interested in speech but also in body language. Open yourself up to understand and if you don’t, ask questions, be curious and willing to learn and understand new perspectives. Focus on understanding the situation (cognitive empathy) and how the person feels (emotional empathy).

👉 Open up space for reflection and practice self-awareness: you can relate to the others’ experience if you have had a similar one, but you can also imagine how it looks if you don’t. Explore your own feelings and emotions and ask yourself what you would do in a similar situation. Get ready to implement a solution and take action, showing compassionate empathy. Simply, ask: how can I help?

 

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By now, you know that developing these skills will certainly help improve your social and emotional intelligence quotients.

If you want to improve this important skill, book a free consultation with me. After the call, you will get a follow-up email with my proposed plan of action.

 

 

Achievement orientation is a skill that shows your capacity for permanent improvement.

Setting high goals and working hard to achieve them, calculating – but ultimately taking – the appropriate risks in order for them to be accomplished, is the perfect definition of Achievement Orientation.

 

Achievement Orientation generates new interests and gives you a reason for continued learning and the expansion of your horizons.

But before we go on, let’s remember that any Emotional Intelligence skill refers to how you manage yourself, your relationships and the situations you encounter daily.

All the competencies, in fact, speak to us about a different way to be smart. Fortunately, Emotional Intelligence is something that we can all learn and improve.

Achievement Orientation, in particular, is one of the key features that can help us achieve our dreams. It falls under the umbrella of self-management and it is nurtured by a positive outlook.

Furthermore: it is a distinctive trait in successful entrepreneurs and leaders.

In this article, we will unveil all the secrets to mastering it.

 

What will be covered here?

Is your passion enough?

What is Achievement Orientation?

Motivation and Persistence

Main features

Note to Leaders

Route map

A coach can help

 

Is your passion enough?

We all have dreams and want to pursue our passion in life. We know that following your passion is the secret fuel that keeps you going forward.

But, is it really?

I mean: when you find an obstacle along the way, when you experience a setback, or when you are challenged beyond your limits, is it your passion that keeps you going or there is something else?

The truth is that dreams and passion are not enough to achieve your goals: achievement orientation is the critical element for success.

 

What is Achievement Orientation exactly?

This key competence entails striving towards your goal whilst maintaining a standard of excellence, accepting the challenges you might encounter en route, not in a blind way but in a calculated way, and at the same time, improving performance to be ready to welcome the opportunities whenever they present themselves.

 

The importance of Motivation and Persistence

For this Emotional Intelligence competency to flourish, you need to welcome motivation and persistence in equal parts, especially in the face of setbacks.

Motivation is a powerful tool you can fuel on a daily basis by remembering your values and goals. Motivation, which belongs to the self-management area of Emotional Intelligence, is the hidden force that will drive you, relentlessly, to your final destination. If accompanied by enthusiasm, it is invincible.

External factors like prestige, money, power, are the typical external factors that ignite motivation, but the internal force of persistence is the one that makes the difference, converting a dream into an attainable goal.

For that, those who feel the need to get better and better by improving performance attaining more and moving up the ladder, are those who feed their motivation with their unquenched desire for, simply, achieving.

 

In short, an achievement-oriented person will look forward to

👉 learning the new and improving the old
👉 fostering excellence
👉 encouraging feedback
👉 accepting  challenges
👉 daring to explore
👉 knowing how to calculate risks
👉 going out of their comfort zone
👉 being open to innovation

 

One trait that every person with achievement drive distinctly presents is their unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Like the renaissance man, knowledge is seen as a mark of distinction, and being open to innovation; a passport to the future.

Leaders who have developed this skill are able to create an achievement culture within their organizations.

They set the scene for performance orientation by encouraging each member of the team to feed their own personal achievement orientation and thereby enable the whole team to make good use of it.

Great leaders coordinate actions and act with empathy, fostering relationship building and opening channels for better communication.

 

Achievement Orientation Top Tips Learn to detect and feed your motivation. Be ready to adapt yourself and to explore and conquer new horizons. Take a piece of paper and make four columns. Complete each one with the following: What are my core motives? What goals have I set? What I am doing to achieve them? How can I make room for improvement?

 

What steps should be taken to hone this skill? 

Route map

📍 Give yourself time to de-stress: a relaxed mind is a successful mind
📍 Develop the ability to gain (and regain) focus with ease
📍 Identify your next objective in the “big picture” of your plan
📍 Design a step-by-step strategy
📍 Calculate the risks
📍 Divide the next objective into small, attainable goals
📍 Identify the external resources you might need (people, materials, hard skills)
📍 Identify the internal resources you might need (motivation and balance, soft skills)
📍 Once each little goal is achieved, reward yourself
📍 Constantly monitor progress towards your ultimate goal

 

How can a coach help to develop, cultivate and improve this skill?

Mainly by working to identify your motivations and remove your internal blocks, help with self-esteem and challenge assumptions.

The right coaching can also support you throughout your strategy planning journey and help you create new spaces for growth and exploration.

Coaching can also help you to gain focus and create new habits; small actions performed in a consistent way can act as precursors.

But remember: you need to balance all the skills and work in tandem with them to really perform at your maximum potential. Isolated skills, even if at 100%, will leave you with a sense of imbalance and won’t add any real value to your work.

 

There is always room for improvement, so it doesn’t matter if you’re a “natural” and motivation is your daily fuel, or if you need a little push now and then.

Achievement drive can benefit us all: freelancers and entrepreneurs, leaders or employees.

By cultivating this skill we will be able to perform any task, to the best of our ability.